Sorry this was a little late, I did the free write but I didn't know if we had to post it or not so I am posting it now.
I did the prompt...
If you could give any gift in the world, what would you give and to whom?
In her sleep she dreamt of a horse. A long light brown speckled horse. One that swept her across the yard in a matter of seconds. With the wind blowing her hair back out of her face. It was all so real, but when she woke up she was disappointed once again. She went down stairs to eat breakfast completely forgetting what day it was. She turned into the kitchen and was surprised to see her mom and dad standing there with her favorite breakfast. This was when she remembered, this was the one day a year she didn't have to do anything. She didn't have to collect her chicken's eggs or feed her dog, she just got to relax because today was her sixteenth birthday. All day she dreamed thinking maybe this was her year, maybe she would finally get a horse. The whole day she waited and the whole day people showered her with jewelry and other gifts, but all the while I stayed away knowing my chance was coming. I couldn't wait any longer, it was almost the end of the day, almost time for me to drive her home and give her the gift of a lifetime. Just 5 minutes... 2 minutes... 30 seconds... 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, BRINNNG! Finally school was dismissed. I quickly went to my locker and grabbed my stuff, I was out of there in less than 30 seconds. I was putting my stuff in the car when Caitlin showed up. We both got in and started driving home. We were over the bridge when I turned right. Caitlin looked confused and asked where we were going. All I said was I have a surprise for you. She looked surprised seeing as I had ignored her all day. We got to my house and I told her to get out and close her eyes. I went around to the back of my house and grabbed the horse, the exact one she was seeing in her dreams. I brought it over and told her to look. When she looked around her eyes widened in surprise, she ran over to me and hugged me and started crying. The horse came over as if it knew she was happy as if it knew she was his owner. I knew at that moment I had made a difference in her life. In fact today in the year 2025 she owns her own stable called Pine Cone Creek Stables where she still rides that same horse which she named after me. And I visit every month and she is always so happy now that her dream of owning a stable has come true.
Thanks for reading it. I can't wait to read everybody else's posts. I know they will be great.
WRITE UNTIL YOU HIT A WALL THEN STOP, GO AROUND IT, AND KEEP WRITING
I love this free write Kyle! It was personal which made it relatable and personal. I really liked the opening sentences. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI think you should mention the name Caitlin throughout the paragraph because, I knew what it was about but other people won't. The writing was a little hard to read at first, well maybe that's just me. Your last sentence needs to be fixed because I think you mean I or And I, not just And. I t was really good and personal. Make sure Caitlin reads it!
ReplyDeleteGreat Free Write Kyle! I can DEFINITELY relate to this!
ReplyDeleteThat is a really nice story. I would really like to have a friend who would do something like that for me.I also really like the sentence at the bottom, I'll have to remember that the next time I get stuck
ReplyDeleteYour opening sentence was outstanding. It grabbed me and didn't let go. Awesome job, Kyle! Beautiful, eloquent, touching and sensory. Awesome job! However, my favorite part is the writing quote at the very end. I may steal that ;)
ReplyDeleteWow Kyle! This story is just....words can't even describe it! I love how you named the girl, Catlyn, after a real person. That made the story really believable and we all know how much Catlyn loves her horses! Also, like Mrs. Ferreira had said, I love the topic sentence and how you created a picture in my mind, very good! I have nothing to tell you to inprove because this sorry was just great! Keep up the spectacular work!
ReplyDeleteWow. Kyle this was very good. It was cool how you didn't use the very obvious topic sentance and it was interesting to read. You kept my attention trougout the hole story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteKyle, I have to say... I liked this post ever so much!!! It was more entertaining than when I read it in the car when we went scuba diving! It caught my attention from the beginning, partly because in involved horses! But great job! I hope it comes true,
ReplyDeleteKeep on Chasing Your Dreams, Caitlin